Let’s be honest: Dating is complex and confusing for nearly everyone. This is often compounded even more so for those who want to safeguard their spiritual beliefs and moral values. With this in mind, we recommend five strategies for dating to help guide Christian singles, both men and women.
1. Keep your inner world clean and uncluttered. A key Christian principle says that what is in a person’s heart determines how that person acts—all the decisions he or she makes, for better or worse. Lots of Christian dating advice focuses on behaviour—how far is too far physically, what people of faith should or shouldn’t do in a dating relationship, and so on. Some of that advice might be helpful, but most helpful is the recognition that conduct follows convictions and actions follow attitudes.
2. Define your standards in advance. The time to think through any potentially perilous situation is before it happens. If you travelled to a large city, you would get clear directions to your exact destination so you don’t end up in an unsafe area. You would plan ahead to avoid danger. The same goes for dating. If holding to your values is important to you, take time to identify them before you start dating. Fortify them in advance with your firm intentions.
3. Don’t hesitate to state where you stand. Some Christian singles are reluctant to voice their convictions for fear of being labelled “old-fashioned” or “narrow-minded.” But it’s best to be up-front about what is and is not acceptable to you. Many awkward and compromising situations can be avoided by simply being honest with your date about your standards. If your dating partner resists your efforts to be true to your beliefs, then do yourself a favour—gracefully bow out.
4. Maintain a support system. When facing any challenge, it helps to know you are not alone. Enlist others who share your commitment to moral integrity. Ask them to watch your back, encourage you hold firm to your convictions, and keep you accountable.
5. Seek dating advice from a mature Christian you respect. Chances are there is someone, be it a pastor, mentor, or teacher, whose perspectives and opinions you hold in high regard. Spend time with this person and learn all the wisdom you can.
In addition to these great tips, it is a very good idea to use a site that specifically caters towards Christian dating. Fortunately, there are many Christian dating sites available in New Zealand. Some of these are listed below.
ChristianDatingNZ.co.nz: brand new New Zealand Christian dating site launching soon.
Christian Dating for Free: Christian Dating for Free is a free dating website, which caters to Christian singles. On the site, you can find members for companionship or for a serious relationship. The best thing about Christian Dating for Free is that the whole site is free. Most sites offer just a free trial period, but this site is always free.
Christian Mingle: Christian Mingle is a highly popular Christian dating website. The website caters exclusively to Christians, so finding potential matches that share your faith is easy.
Christian Café: Christian Café is a dating website aimed at Christian singles. The website is easy to use, and they offer new members a free trial for ten days. This is by far our top recommendation for Christians looking to find love online – the site has a lot of NZ members, and high quality members on top of that. This site has a very good track record of happy couples and produces a lot of marriages.