Having trouble with online dating in NZ? Finding success with dating sites comes naturally to some, but if you’re struggling to get the kind of results you want, we’ve got a few tips to make the whole process a lot easier for you.

There are a few key parts of the online dating process that you need to get a grasp on: getting your profile right, starting a conversation, carrying on the conversation, and setting up a date.




To get the best results from online dating, it’s important to make sure you’re using the best websites – we recommend Elite Singles.

Choosing Your Dating Profile Picture

Like it or not, your profile picture matters a lot – but not necessarily in the way you think. It’s not all about looks, but choosing a photo that shows you in your best light and gives people a good feel for what your personality is like. The best option here is to get a photo of you doing something you genuinely enjoy, which shows some personality. Smiling photos are also the best – no one is looking to meet someone who looks super serious!

Writing Your Dating Profile

Again, it’s important to put the right foot forward when it comes to what you actually put in your profile. Try to get across the things that are really important to you in life, and avoid cliches as much as possible. People tend to put very similar things in their profiles, so in order to stand out from the crowd you’ll need to get creative. Try having a look at your ‘competition’ on the website and see what people are saying over and over again – then make sure your profile sounds unique, different, and fun. Remember, sense of humour is a big quality most people are looking for.

Online Dating Messages – The First Line

The opening message is one of the most crucial parts of the whole process – if your first messages suck, you’re going to have a hard time even getting anyone to email you back.

A good rule of thumb is to keep it short and sweet, and mention something from their profile in an open-ended way that gives them a chance to talk. Don’t use canned messages or a “hey, what’s up” – it’s boring and you’re unlikely to get a response most of the time. This is especially true for the guys – you’d be amazed how many almost identical messages women get on dating sites, so if you don’t do something to stand out you will just get deleted along with the rest of her inbox.

Carrying on the Conversation

Once you get a response from someone, you then have to keep the conversation moving. The best tip for this is to focus the conversation on them as much as possible, rather than slipping into talking about yourself too much. Everyone likes having an interest shown in them, so ask questions about things in their profile that interest you.

Meeting in Person

Now the moment of truth: going from online dating, to meeting in real life. The key here is that you shouldn’t rush anything. Remember many people, especially women, are still very wary of meeting up with someone from the Internet. If you ask them out on the second email, you’re unlikely to get a yes. Take your time, get to know them and build a little trust before you ask someone out.

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